I am not an obese girl, but I am not a skinny one either. To say precisely, I am a girl who is a little bit fat, or a girl who is fat depends on whether I am in America or in my hometown Macau because of the different definition and standard for fat.
I lived in Macau for twenty years before I moved to America. That was when I cared about my fashion and style the most. Since I was not skinny, I needed to choose my clothes carefully in order to make me look slimmer. After living in America for two years, I tended to change my attitude towards fat people’s fashion. In America, I don’t care to wear vest, sleeveless jacket or short skirt although I am not slim and doesn’t have a beautiful body shape because everyone is wearing the same thing no matter they are fat or thin. I really like that American would not stare at the fat people when they are wearing leggings with big hips, so in America, I can put on a lot of clothes I would not wear in Macao. As a result, I made such a big mistake when I spent my last summer vocation in Macau with the same attitude I hold in America.
One the first day when I was back to Macao, I put on a sleeveless white shirt and a pair of leggings and went out to have food with my friends I haven’t seen for a year. However, when they saw me, they looked at with their jaws dropped and kept staring at my arm, my hips and my belly and they made fun of my getting weights. I knew they did not mean that seriously. They were just kidding. Later, one of my close friends asked me what was wrong with me and she told me the clothes made me look so fat. I told her that was me and I was exactly that fat. However, I thought she was right. People in Macau would definitely make fun of those fat people who wear short skirts or vests on the street. They would say something like “Look at that fat lady who wears short skirt and high heels, she must be too confident to know she is so fat.” or “that outfit is not for her, and she will look normal if she wears black T-shirt instead of the white tee” or “that pig must not have a boy friend”. In their eyes, the fashion for fat people is black. The more clothes they put on, the better they look. Although it is very hot in summer, they still need to wear black T-shirt because that is the norms. If a fat person does not obey that rules and insist to wear less, he would commit the “crime” against fashion. That is common in Asian countries, especially Japan and Hong Kong. People hold high standard for thinness and strict requirements to be a non-fat person. The standard is also different for different genders. For girls, they require more for themselves. A popular Taiwanese talk show hostess once says, “A woman with more than 100lbs will have no future.” in her talk show.
I believe my friends successfully brought me back to the normative definitions of thinness. I started to agree with them that I was fat and the white clothes could really make me look uglier. After that day, I only wore black clothes in that summer in Macao. I admitted that I did look slimmer in black tees but they are also killing me under the cruel sunshine and the horribly high temperature. Fat people should only wear black clothes became a stereotype for them. Gradually, I became to not wearing skirts anymore even I came back to America. Basically, I have the same style every day, black sweaters and T-shirt or loose denims.
What is “normal” to me now? It is black, black and black. I do not feel good in a white tee nowadays. I know it sounds sad, but I got used to that already. Black has become my identity. When you ask my friends about my fashion, they would definitely tell you it is black. Everyone has his/her own principles or persistence on fashion. You may think I am pitiful for not having too many options when I go shopping for clothes, but I think I look awesome in black and it is enough for me. It has become my norms.
